You’ve always heard of the intriguing objects in the solar system, but have you ever settled down to ask yourself: How many points will our solar system score on a 100-point scale? Though you might think this question is absurd, it isn’t.
Today, we’ll explore the solar system in a new light and review what makes it so amazing and what makes it such a meh place. So get your imagination hats ready, and let’s dive in.
The Power of The Solar System
We can’t rate our solar system without talking about its source of power, its star. The sun is the primary energy source for the solar system. It governs how the planets revolve and influence their geological processes.
Though the sun seems like an epic fusion reactor dispensing immense solar radiation into its neighborhood, it’s not that super cool when we step back a little. Why? Well, the sun is just an average star.
In the observable universe, many intense stars seem to violate the laws of nature, from Vega, which is squashed, to unimaginable giants like Uy Scuti and Betelgeuse.
However, the sun just mediocrely exists as an average little yellow dwarf doing nothing except not violently exploding. For this, we’ll rate the sun a 45 out of 100.
Planetary DEI
As we enter the age of regression, where people unlearn how to live in peace with people who don’t look like them, it’s important to point out how the solar system is a diverse collection of multicultural planets.
First, we have the hot-headed planets Mercury and Venus. These guys have nothing good going for them except heat and obsessively revolving around the sun. Like, we get it Mercury, you need the sun to love you, but it doesn’t even care you exist.
For Venus, let’s just say it wants to look like a blue planet so badly but can’t due to hot makeup (atmosphere for people who don’t get it).
Earth is such a mess, as it’s the only planet with lifeforms that obsess over aliens from other galaxies coming to hunt and kill them when, in reality, they are the ones who want to do just that. Mars is a red planet shivering in fear and praying the virus (humans) from Earth doesn’t spread to it.
Jupiter is the bloated savior who gets zero credit for shielding the smaller planets from space bullets. Saturn is the planet that obsesses over its rings. We don’t care about your pretty looks Saturn (probably what the other planets say). Uranus is the gay planet that chooses to be different as it rotates at a 90-degree angle from the plane of its orbit.
Then there’s Neptune, the prodigal child who decided to live so far from its sibling planets that it became a frozen world. Pluto is an affair child, so the other planets refuse to accept it. With the intense DEI initiatives the planets in the solar system got going for them, it’s safe to say we can grade them based on two different mindsets.
With a “racist and woke-tormented” folk mindset, we’ll grade the planets a measly 20 out of 100 because why is Uranus part of the LGBT community?
However, with a healthy mindset, the planets get a 60 out of 100 because Jupiter is cool AF.
The Oort Cloud
The name Oort sounds cool. If this weren’t a review, it would’ve gotten 90 just for being cool.
As all space-literates know, the Oort Cloud is a theoretical spherical shell of icy objects surrounding the entire solar system. That’s right, it’s like a force field guarding the solar system against the dark side (which exists according to no credible sources but imagination).
Though the Oort Cloud seems to be the only cool thing about our solar system, there’s some bad news. It may not exist. Yes, just when you thought we could have something nice in this solar system, we realize it may be fictional, like the woman of your dreams.
On a 100-point scale, we’ll give the Oort Cloud a 75.
Moons
It’s impossible to rate the solar system without mentioning moons. In scientific terms, moons are objects that orbit planets, dwarf planets, and non-star bodies; these tiny lumps of rock and ice have weird effects on planets, like creating tides.
Though moons are small, they are so plenty and have unique features like spinning backward (Triton), having underground oceans (Europa), having methane oceans and nitrogen atmospheres (Titan), looking like the Death Star from Star Wars (Mimas), having the most volcanoes in the solar system (Io), and having two contrasting colors (Iapetus).
With these awesome features, moons get an 80 out of 100.
Having Life
Life in our solar system sucks. Only the Earth can sustain life, and even then, the life it sustains has beings that want to kill it as quickly as possible. For this, we’ll give life in the solar system a 30 out of 100.
Final Verdict On The Solar System
With all the aspects listed above, it’s safe to say we can reach a final review. Our solar system is a partially mediocre system with an average star, only about two cool planets, wild imaginary boundaries, unique moons, and terrible biological activity.
With all scores being 45, 60, 75, 80, and 30, our solar system scores 58 out of 100. For the people who use the United States academic grading system, it’s a resounding F. For others, the solar system scores a C.
Conclusion
We hope you enjoyed reading this article. You can check out our Cool Sun Facts and search our Facts Database. Don’t forget to leave us a comment grading the solar system based on your opinion.
